The God that is always god to me..

The God that is always god to me..

Stoned, the one who doesn’t talk, the one who doesn’t answer…the God

The one who watches..and watches till the end, till all’s done, till all’s over..the God

The Stone, the adorned stone, the revered stone, the stone that cannot hear..the deaf stone..the God

The God that is god to me..

The God with that indefinite stare, the straight stare that doesn’t see you or me…but the look that looks on somewhere else always

I once ran to him-

From distance afar it looked he looked at me

I thought he might see, he might see me

I thought I needn’t shout, I needn’t call..I was within his vision – already…

I thought I could be quite..I thought we were seeing each other

As I neared the looks began deviating elsewhere, the vision gradually aligning elsewhere

Somewhere not on me, on whom I do not know

I stood infront of the God – the god that never looked at me, the God I thought was looking at me

The God, the illusion that always looks elsewhere, where I do not know

The God that is always god to me

I screamed, then I tried talking

But the God that looks elsewhere never talked back, never answered back

I paused, I waited, ‘cuz I had heard he answers – li’l late at times, but does

But the one that answers may not be God

Because the God that is my god never answers, never talks back 

I once heard, he’s the father, like the father I have, like the one who cries when I cry, like the one who laughs when I laugh

They say, God is a father like my father who often asks – what happened?

But the God that is my god, never cried when I cried

The God that is my god never asked – what happened

The God that never saw, the one that never heard

The God that is always god to me…

I left my God and came back to self, and I looked back – have I been God to anyone

Baba, have I been God to you ever?

Burger, my love, my beloved, my life – have I been God to you?

Monty? Ma? Dada? Baudi? Rimjhim?

Was I ever God to you?

Nay, never was I God..

I answered, I heard, I cried, I laughed, I loved..I belonged,

And I exist

I am one with you all

I never was the God, the unreachable, the one on the pedestal, the one above and not the one with